Bendy Andy's Pages: QOTD

Richard; Christian; Dario; Glinky; Marcos; Simon N; James C; Andy R; Masumi; Sarah; Graham; Ant; Vikki; Christoph; Davey; Jimmy; Owen; Aaron; James R; Simon E; Stuart; Matthew; 'Bendy' Andy S; Say; Marivi; Cesare; Rainer; Kjeld

Quotes Of The Day

The Quotes Of The Day are a fine institution that was originally brought into operation by the great Dr Peter T Glink, way back in, duh, 1995? 1994? somtime, anyway. Now under the responsibility of Anthony Pease, we can bring you the electronic QOTD, organised according to author. And let the show begin...

Richard Gillard

Do you want me to squeeze it for you? I donÕt want your hand to get sore.
Do you have balls in Germany?
I canÕt do it with another person.
I could have you so easily, Giuseppe.
Judith, how long was your slot?
IÕll go either way.
How many eighths in an ounce?
I wouldnÕt like something two feet long inside me.
IÕm much harder when IÕve got about five blokes backing me up.

Christian Claessens

R. Gillard: I wouldnÕt have sex with a housemate. C. Claessens (Housemate of Richard): IÕm relieved!
To Lynne: IÕm just asking you for a service.
I like to pay people to do things in front of me.

Dario Pasini

IÕve got a problem; I canÕt get it up.
You know when your bum goes violet...
Let me show you something, but donÕt tell anyone.... ....There. IsnÕt it magnificent?

Peter Glink

I always find that the white ones are adequate for my needs.
IÕm good at taking Andreas from behind.
Lynne: How many PhD girls are there on the floor? Barbara, ..... Peter: ... Simon.
Have any of you two seen Lynne about getting a shaft?
Masumi could have taken me naked.
If I hold it in my hand, it gets all sticky.
Deaf and dumb people canÕt read, surely? Well, maybe Braille.
After watching Aston Villa vs. Sheffield Utd. on TV: It would have been good if Villa had played Sheffield United.

Marcos Gómez

Richard, would you like to come downstairs at 3.30 and play around a bit?
IÕm going to the toilet. Will you hold it for me?
IÕve been sucking it all the way.
You canÕt compare Wayne to God.
If you want a good time, just sit down next to Lynne.
Well, you know what my butt felt like.
I offered myself to Johnny.
Matt: Why did you go to the gay bar? Marcos: For fun.
To Wayne: Stop using your mouth and use your legs.
I like the pink bits.
Whilst clutching George: I donÕt need to hold him; I just do it for the pleasure.
I wouldnÕt mind if all the men on the seventh floor were gay.
I tried to screw it, but I screwed too hard.
You donÕt know who wrote Huckleberry Finn? It was Tom Sawyer!
To Arianna (whilst wearing a sly grin): How did you enjoy it? Richard: Come on. Are you a man or a poof? Marcos: I donÕt know.
Simon E (on ageing): Sooner or later, youÕll be a greasy fat bloke with a moustachioed old dog following you around. Marcos: Have you seen my parents?
That looks like the Faltese Malcon.

Simon Newton

I hope it wasnÕt an anticlimax for you.
Wayne, my buttocks do ache.
I think we should give her one for that. I want to give her a fair crack of the whip.
Does it weigh more or less when itÕs a liquid?
ThatÕs one hell of a ringpiece, Andy.
I wouldÕve been great in the Russian Revolution. I really wish IÕd been born in 1910.

James ÒHandbagÓ Campbell

Ceri came second as usual.
ItÕs the ring that hurts.
If a tyrannosaurus rex was a lion, it would be a cheetah....
Shortly before developing gastro-enteritis and having the squits for a fortnight: I must have an amazing immune system. Everyone else on holiday got ill, but I didnÕt.

Andrew Robertson

If you can close my ring for me, IÕll do your PBr3 reaction.
My buttons went down a treat.
IÕm going to the toilet. Kirsten, are you coming?
Mine is bigger so it doesnÕt fit, but if you shrink it down, it does fit. NobodyÕs given me one Ñ oh go on!
Marcos just complains every time I try to sit on it.
She wasnÕt interested in my small phenomenon.
That would be like killing two birds with one erection.

Masumi Asakawa

Hyphen is hyphen
You know somewhere in Giuseppe?
Doug is Gay??
Marivi: DonÕt you know that Spain is the land of wine and girls? Masumi: Really, I havenÕt had so much wine.
You should see Professor Ollis. HeÕs quite helpful for young men.

Sarah Hickingbottom

Things are going wrong; I canÕt seem to get it up.
I was in a rush this morning. I was dying to go down.
Is this thing sensitive to vibration?
Davy, do you have your box out?
If you want to see mould, look in my drawers. Just ask Andy.
Will you go around the floor and get everyone to come?
To Aaron: Are you telling me youÕve got something I havenÕt?
IÕm not very good at saying no.

Graham Cousins

ItÕs quite good in FraserÕs office because it can get quite intimate.

Anthony Pease

Queer is great.
Professor M. Henchman (visiting lecturer)
The Catholic Church knows very little about isotopes.
The answer lies in the anal cleft.

Vikki Allen

IÕll whip them out at the end if necessary.
Stuart: YouÕll eat anything Vikki: I wish I hadnÕt

Christoph Hamers

Not even GunterÕs stomach works that hard after a bratwurst session.
To Marcos: Wait until weÕre alone in the lift together and IÕll sort you out.
Rich (at AriannaÕs party): What do you think of the party? Christoph(at AriannaÕs party): What party?

David Fulton

IÕm not big on the old salami.
I used to have superb bellows in Strathclyde. They were much longer.
Consider the hest-ghost chemistry.
We need a molecule with more than one molecule.

James ÔJimmyÕ Lowe

Doctor Paterson got his BSE from St. Andrews.
Andy R: We called him Andreas. Ant (sarcastically): Why was that? James R (honestly): Surely that was his name. Andy R: Wow! YouÕve been workin next to Jimmy too long. Jimmy: Why? What happened?
Ant: Could we not have group therapy in 501? Jimmy: Is that on the fifth floor?

Owen Matthews

Never listen to Christoph. The last person to do that was Ant. He got a donkey for it and sent two people to hospital.

Aaron Heiss

To Ant: Your flambouyant entrance rivals that of Liberace.
DavyÕs box looks clean for once.

James Robinson

I intend to explain the oranges of life.

Simon Everitt

IÕd try it if I had my rubbers.
To Ant: Could you open the locker of chocolate delight?

Stuart Cantrill

WeÕd have these wonderful cavities.
These references are in no particular order. Just alphabetical.
I had a really sore throat by the end.

Matthew Fyfe

IÕve got gonads the size of TeddyÕs head.

ÔBendyÕ Andy Shipway

Yes, I like a good whipping.
I twisted it in both directions as hard as I could, but it wouldnÕt go off.
IÕve got all the right equipment.
It would be a whole lot nicer if there was something underneath to absorb all the wet stuff.
To Fiona: YouÕre still sore after your experiences this afternoon
Excite me, Peter.
To Davy: Feed it to Sarah. You hold her down, and IÕll stuff it down her throat.

Sayeeda Iqbal

Brown eye... That's a Scouting term.
It's better to do it when it's wet. It's easier.
Richard: I never know what to do with girls. Say: You do what you would do with any man, I suppose.
It looks like Marcos has three legs.
Where's the space for the balls?
To George: I didn't realise you were so big.
Say: How did you get your mass spec run before mine? Bendy: I gave him money. Say: But I offered him much more than that.

Marivi Martinez-Diaz

Johnny's chorizo was too hard.
I was expecting more inches.
Arianna says a lot of shit.
For me, it is different. Masumi has wonderful hands.
To Pete Glink: Today, you will get it in the normal way. Tomorrow, you will get it in the special way.
To JFS: Are you coming to the barbecue? JFS: I wish I could. To JFS: Well, bring your sausage and come along.

Cesare Schiavo

To Marcos: Do you want to do it on the floor?

Rainer Koniger

Say. Life isn't fair, and the sooner you come to terms with it the better.
Wednesday is a good day for beers.
If you rotate a square, it will still be a square.

Kjeld van Bommel

Richard, you have to take it all out before you put it in.
To Peter: I see you've got your PowerStick.
To Richard: I want you to prove your mnahood to me.
Judith had two good ones.
To Peter: Do you want a 12-inch? To Peter (minutes later): I've got a big hole.

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